Side Trip: Sweden

So, I went to Sweden last night.  I mean, I went to Ikea last night.  Sometimes I get confused because of all the funny product names and that Dragon Tattoo girl buying Ikea furniture that they actually assembled for her (which was good because she was very tiny and not so stable).  Anyway, I went to Ikea to return a lamp that didn't match the lamp in my house at all (I am super perceptive) and then I had to buy a small jar to store tea in, so I figured I'd do that while I was there.  Unfortunately, I didn't really make it to the small jar section because I stopped in their little grocery store department and became intrigued by trying to figure out what Swedish words on packages of unfamiliar products meant.  Most people wouldn't have bought anything, what with the not knowing what the words meant, but I decided it would be an adventure.  (You can go ahead and read that as I have no idea what I bought.)

One thing I am pretty sure I purchased was the dill mustard sauce they use in their restaurant (I was tipped off because it said that in English on the sign), and I bought some smoked salmon (I recognized that because a good Jewish girl recognized lox like it's air).  I also bought this rye bread that you just add water to, shake, pour, rise, bake and it becomes bread.  Supposedly.  Anyway, I got it into my head that I was going to make a potato salad with red potatoes, the dill mustard sauce, the smoked salmon, the random Swedish cheese I bought and the leftover watercress from my trip to England.  So I did.

This is a bad picture of a mystery cheese.  I am also now obsessed with this mystery cheese.  It's delicious.
According to Wikipedia, this cheese is actually called Prastost and it is usually cured in whiskey.  I am not sure if the one I bought was cured in whiskey, but it would explain a lot about last night.  It also translates into Priest cheese, which is a conversation topic on its own.  I did not put this in the potato salad

sauce with mustard and dill (look at me, I can read Swedish!!!)

These things are incredible.  I am inclined to say that the Swedish word for fried might be the same as their word for roasted because there is no way these things have not seen a deep fryer.  That being said, they're DELICIOUS.  I put them in the potato salad too.  

The potato salad!  It has the lox, potatoes, watercress and onions in it, and is tossed
with the mustard dill sauce.  Super Yummy!

Now, as for the bread in a carton, that's a different story.

Here it is.  Bread mix in a carton that says all you need to do is shake and it will become bread.

 That's actually what it says here, but my camera doesn't like to photograph words. 

It said to shake first to loosen the flour from the bottom of the container, and I swear I did, but it still came out all lumpy, so I had to mix it with a spatula in the loaf pan.
At this point I should point out that it smelled like dog food.

and looked, sorry to be vulgar, but kind of like puke. I let it rise and then baked it.  The house smelled funny. 

It came out of the oven and was very heavy.  I left it in the pan overnight because at this point I was kind of afraid of it.

Then I cut it.  It smelled and looked better at this point (I'm not going as far as to say good here, notice that), but it didn't taste good.  Not really even good for bread that you mix in a milk carton and buy at Ikea.  How disappointing.

So, moral of the story: when the carton says you can just add water and shake and have bread miraculously appear that you'd actually want to eat, it might be best to go with your gut and assume that things that sound too good to be true normally are, too good to be true...

OK, no more side trips.  I promise.  Tomorrow we head to Connecticut for some new-age Hartford Election Cake!